My Speech at the Bariatric Education Conference

Today I had a full circle moment. I was lucky enough to speak at the 2nd annual Bariatric Education Conference at the University of Toronto's Faculty Club, and to share my weight loss surgery story with people in the business. It was an amazing feeling to stand in front of health care providers like nurses, dietitians, social-psychiatry staff, surgeons and folks from the Ministry of Health and detail my journey. I also got quite a few requests for my blog address so that it could be shared with patients going through the same thing. I'm humbled and honoured that they would think to share my experiences, and I aim to keep writing about my struggles so that others can benefit :). And so, below, you'll find my speech in its entirety. I want to thank my wonderful friend and surgery-sista, Heather Rosenthal, who also spoke at the conference today. As patient #1 in our program, she's always been and will always be my inspiration.


When I first heard about gastric bypass surgery, I was skeptical. I thought it was a crazy & dangerous procedure reserved for the rich and famous out in Hollywood, not for normal, everyday people like me. What I did know was that after 34 years of trying to control my weight through every way possible, and after failing miserably at it year after year, I was ready to try something new. Little did I know that this procedure, this tool, would change my life in ways I never thought possible.



My surgery date was almost a year ago today, December 7, 2009. The day I went in for surgery, I was 281 lbs on a 5 foot, 1 inch frame. My BMI was a whopping 51.1. I had been suffering from extreme hypertension for 10 years, had severe asthma that limited my activity level, was infertile thanks to polycystic ovarian syndrome, I was exhibiting symptoms of pre-diabetes, and I was exhausted. I couldn’t climb a flight of stairs without feeling faint and needing to sit down. And most importantly, my favourite expression was, “I can’t.” After so many years of being obese, I had gotten used to giving up before even trying so many things because I knew that I physically couldn’t do it. Activities like skiing, running & rock climbing were out of reach for me. I would avoid public places like restaurants in case I couldn’t physically fit in their seats or booths. Then there was the emotional tole. I shied away from social gatherings and any situations at work where I would have to be front and centre. I didn’t want anyone looking at me or scrutinizing me because years of being the target of ridicule over my weight. I have to say, the social stigma and resulting self esteem issues that come from being obese should never be discounted when treating patients.


So, when I went into surgery, I was as hopeful as could be without actually believing that it would work. After failing at something for so long, it was difficult to believe that this tool could really help me. I wasn’t convinced that I would be successful. It was scary at times and definitely difficult. While the physical recovery only took a matter of weeks, the emotional healing after years of using food as a coping mechanism was incredibly difficult. In particular, I credit the counseling and dietary staff at Toronto Western Hospital for helping me through all of the trials and tribulations I faced. They kept me on track with exercise, helped me to learn to eat properly, and guided me through the various stages of vitamin intake to stay nourished throughout the process. They had warned me ahead of time that the emotional and mental effects of this procedure far outweigh the physical ones, and they were right. I feel like I’m well on my way to conquering food issues, but it’s a work in progress that will likely take the rest of my life.


Physically, I still have difficulty recognizing this new woman in the mirror – she’s so different than the one that lives inside my head! One of the most surprising things for me is that it’s a bit of a struggle to shop in regular sized clothing stores – there’s so much available when you’re not in a plus size! I still gravitate towards the extra large clothing on the racks, only to go back for a medium once I realize I’m swimming in them. I’m not sure how long it will take to get used to this new body, but it’s not a task I’ll complain about!


In terms of physical healing, I’m shocked that my once-barely-mobile body has been able to accomplish so much. My energy level, in particular, is amazing. I feel like I can get so much done during a day now, because I’m not exhausted anymore. Exercise is a daily ritual for me, and I can’t believe that I’m enjoying it. That alone – the mind shift required to now think of myself as a person capable of physical activity – is an amazing accomplishment in and of itself.


I think one of the most difficult aspects of this procedure is dealing with the often prevalent public perception that bariatric surgery is a quick fix or the easy way out. It is a frustrating misnomer for those of us who have had the surgery. This journey through gastric bypass surgery has been the most difficult challenge of my life, but also the most rewarding. As a writer, I’ve made the decision to share my journey with the public both through my blog and in the form of a memoir which I hope to have published, but it still never fails to surprise me when people I don’t even know boldly tell me that my weight loss doesn’t count or I could have done the same thing without surgery. I think that everyone in this room has their work cut out for them in convincing the public that obesity is a disease, and it’s a wonderful advance in modern medicine to finally have a treatment that yields the kind of results gastric bypass does. I am a healthier and happier person now, and it’s due to this procedure. I’d highly recommend it to other patients seeking a tool to help them conquer obesity.


As for my personal results, I’m ecstatic. Today, my total weight loss is 120 lbs, only 30 lbs away from my goal weight. I no longer take any medications. I don’t have hypertension, my lung function is normal, and I’m happy to report that the effects of polycystic ovaries have been reversed. I’m excited at the prospect of having my own family in the future! I am active and love to try new things, including running. When I recently had a fitness assessment, I was shocked to find that my fitness level actually fell into the “good” range. I have so much energy, some days I just don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve dropped 10 sizes in less than a year, and I feel like the world is my oyster. I’ve also gained confidence I never knew I had, and it has truly changed the direction of my life. I credit all of these things to this procedure. This tool was exactly what I needed to finally gain control of my life and to live it to the fullest.


In closing, to those of you in the room who treat and work with bariatric patients, I will say this: you change lives every single day, whether you realize it or not. It is your work that gives obese patients the strength, the knowledge, and the tools they need to finally break free from their personal prisons and live the healthy lives they’ve always wanted. Your compassion, your dedication to helping others and your willingness to keep learning by attending events like this one are exactly what are needed to fight the obesity epidemic, and I applaud your efforts.


Thank you for listening to my story today. It’s not finished yet, but I feel like this happy new beginning I’ve been given will lead me to a happy ending!




My story in pictures...the night before surgery, my princess costume from Halloween, and me on the beach in N.B.