Perception Is Everything

I really can't believe how my own perception has changed since the surgery. I used to think that how people reacted to me, whether good or bad, was a direct result of what kind of biases they held and misjudgments they made about me. How wrong I was! Since losing the equivalent of a 13 year old supermodel (they don't weigh more than 80 lbs or so, do they?), I've noticed a marked difference in how people treat me. People I know, people I kind of know, even perfect strangers...they all seem to have a different perception of me now that I'm no longer morbidly obese. They seem to be more accepting, friendlier, they smile and make eye contact more, offer their assistance more readily - all the way around, I seem to be more "accepted" in society with my new appearance, and I've chalked it up to society's bias against folks of size. But I've been reading up a lot on this, as well as chatting with some of my surgery sisters (the go-to gals I meet up with about once a month to discuss our trials and tribulations), and I'm starting to realize that it has precious little to do with how I look or how much I weigh. It just dawned on me that I'm different on the inside. This weight loss has freed me of some of my own hang-ups, like shyness, insecurity and a lack of energy that bordered on apathy. I'm the one who has changed how I interact with people, and their reactions mirror it. For example, I make eye contact where I never did before. I smile more (and mean it!). I'm more open to communication, whatever the form, because I'm not expecting rude comments about my weight. And now I'm reaping the rewards. I can't believe that all this time, I thought it was them. It was me all along.

Now, that's not to say that when you're fat you don't get way more negative reactions and harassment. I'd be a fool to assume that fat-bias is a myth now that I'm leaning towards lean. But I am saying that if I had behaved differently at the size I used to be, maybe I would have had an easier time. What's that quote? "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.." Hmmm...food for thought ;)